Fans were surprised when two famous celebrity couples had been secretly separated for years. In October 2023, Meryl Streep announced a six-year separation from her husband that she’d been separated from her husband Don Gummer for more than six years in a brief statement. That same month, Jada Pinkett Smith and Will Smith publicly admitted they had been separated for seven years.
Media outlets like Yahoo Entertainment and The Cut used terms like "quietly ended" and "quiet breakup" to describe Steep and Gummer’s transition into "lives apart." Some have called these arrangements a “Social Divorce” or a “Quiet Separation.” Neither couple has officially filed for divorce as of this date almost three years later.
Neither couple has publicly revealed their reasons they did not actually get divorced. One can guess at reasons for keeping a separation quiet initially. Anyone who has split from a long-term relationship knows it can be a fraught time emotionally and logistically as you disentangle your lives. Especially for high profile individuals, having cameras and social media dogging you daily as you adjust to the split would be trying and potentially detrimental to potential income.
But what might be the reasons for going years without filing for divorce? Below, we’ll look at some pros and cons of a multi-year separation in New York.
Privacy for Finances & Family
In New York, divorce filings are generally confidential and not open to the public. The opposite is true in California, which certainly could be a reason couples there stay separated without a formal divorce. A California divorce means your financial information and other details of your private life will be revealed.
Even in New York, where the details are not made public, the facts of a divorce can still come to light. Couples may have additional reasons to seek privacy in the early years after separating, particularly when children are involved. Children may need time out of the public eye to adjust to new arrangements, which could be reason enough to delay formailzing a divorce.
Celebrities frequently use Non-Disclosure Agreements (NDAs) to help keep their "quiet" separations quiet. Sadly, for celebrity couples, there is money to be paid to anyone who reveals knowledge about their private lives. Celebrities often use NDAs to prevent nannies, personal assistants. The same concept can be applied during a separation, and a formal NDA can be drawn up along side the separation agreement.
Financial Pros and Cons of a Long Separation in New York
It’s important to note that, legally, a couple’s status hasn’t changed until they file for a formal separation. Separation is a formal legal process itself that triggers changes to your legal and financial status. Without a legal separation or divorce filing, assets acquired by either spouse during the time apart may still be considered marital property and subject to equitable distribution once they divorce.
Even if your split is amicable, the formal separation will serve to mark the end of future financial entanglements. This means earnings after the date of separation can be treated as separate property. If you have assets you want to begin untangling, you can try negotiating this privately. It appears that both Streep Gummer and Pinkett Smith have sold off some jointly owned property in recent years, and Streep reportedly purchased her own California home.
Some assets are difficult to split, so delaying a divorce can avoid the need to split them. For example, it’s reported that Jada Pinkett and Will Smith continue to co-own their production company Westbrook, Inc. This is the type of enterprise that would be difficult and costly to appraise and then divide in a formal divorce.
While legally separated, you remain legally married. This would, of course, bar either of you from remarrying until it’s formalized. But you also retain the legal benefits of marriage, which can include:
- Health Insurance: You can often remain on a spouse’s health insurance plan, which typically terminates upon a final divorce decree.
- Social Security & Taxes: Staying married for at least 10 years allows a spouse to later claim the other’s Social Security benefits. Couples can also continue to file joint tax returns, which can offer financial benefits.
- Estate Planning Benefits: Spouses often retain inheritance rights to pass assets to one another or their children without tax penalties and legal fees of a high-net-worth divorce.
- Next of kin status: Spouses retain "next of kin" status for medical decisions unless the legal separation agreement explicitly waives them.
There are legal implications to either choice. Be sure to consult a family law attorney to see how your specific situation would fare under a long separation compared to a divorce.
Personal & Spiritual Reasons for a Long Separation
A divorce is a significant transition. Especially for couples who have been together for a long time. Both of these celebrity couples were together for decades. In many cases, a long separation can offer time to adapt to this change.
Some people see it in a spiritual sense, as a way to mark the transition. The term “Social Divorce” is said to originate from an anthropologist who emphasized that the legal divorce is just one aspect of ending a marriage. He stressed that negotiating the legal issues is only part of the process, but that an individual’s social network and status will change and can take years to adjust to and resolve. For couples choosing a long separation, this period can serve as a “social divorce,” during which they negotiate and redefine their personal roles and connections with the people around them.
Lastly, we all know that break-ups are complicated emotionally and mentally. Very few have the ideal frame of mind to enter into weighty legal negotiations. If there is not a pressing need to finalize the divorce, a long separation could provide time to breathe and adjust before launching into legal combat.
Many couples, including Pinkett Smith and Streep Gummer, chose to complete the social and emotional divorce while delaying the legal divorce for financial, family, and other personal reasons. However, a long-term separation can carry important legal and financial consequences, especially in high-net-worth and complex family situations.
Our attorneys at Bikel Rosenthal & Schanfield help clients navigate separation agreements, asset division, privacy concerns, custody matters, and strategic divorce planning in New York. If you’re weighing your divorce options and strategies, call our attorneys at 212.682.6222 or connect online to schedule a confidential consultation.