5 Strategies to Convince Your Fiancé to Sign a Prenup

When it comes to marriage, it is essential to consider all aspects of your future together, including the possibility of a prenuptial agreement. A prenuptial agreement, or prenup, is a legal contract that outlines the division of assets and responsibilities in the event of divorce or death. While some may view this as unromantic or pessimistic, others see it as a practical and responsible way to protect their interests.

Entering into a prenuptial agreement is often a sensitive and delicate topic for couples to discuss. However, it is an important step to consider before tying the knot, especially in a state like New York, where prenuptial agreements hold significant legal weight.

Convincing your fiancé to sign a prenup requires careful thought, open communication, and a willingness to address their concerns and fears. Here are five strategies to help you have a constructive conversation and demonstrate to your fiancé the benefits of signing a prenuptial agreement.

  1. Choose the Right Time and Place

    Timing and location are crucial when bringing up the topic of a prenuptial agreement. Find a moment when both of you are relaxed and have ample time to discuss the matter without distractions. Avoid bringing it up during an argument or emotionally charged situation. A calm and private setting will allow for a more open and honest conversation.

    When should you bring up a prenup? Should you propose signing a prenup before or after the engagement? There is no right or wrong answer to this question. Ultimately, it depends on the dynamics and communication within your relationship. However, discussing the idea of a prenuptial agreement prior to engagement may provide a more open and transparent foundation for your future together.

    Bringing up the topic of a prenup while dating may seem premature, but it can actually be beneficial. It allows both partners to converse honestly about their financial goals, expectations, and concerns. By doing so, you can better understand each other's financial values and determine if you are compatible in this area. It can also help identify any potential red flags or areas of disagreement that need to be addressed before moving forward with a lifelong commitment.

    Furthermore, discussing a prenuptial agreement early on can help build trust and strengthen your relationship. Openly discussing topics such as finances and division of assets demonstrates a willingness to communicate and compromise. It can foster a sense of security within the relationship, knowing that both partners are being transparent and mindful of each other's needs and concerns.

    In New York, signing a prenup at least 30 days before the wedding is recommended. This timeframe ensures that both parties have ample time to review and sign the document without feeling pressured or rushed. However, it is crucial to consider each couple's individual circumstances. Some couples might require more time to negotiate the terms, while others may feel comfortable signing the agreement closer to their wedding date.

  2. Do Your Research

    It is important to approach the topic of a prenuptial agreement with sensitivity and respect. Money can be a touchy subject for many individuals, and bringing up a prenup can trigger feelings of mistrust or insecurity. It is crucial to have this conversation in a calm and non-threatening manner, emphasizing that the purpose of a prenup is not to plan for divorce, but rather to protect both parties in the unfortunate event that it occurs.

    If your partner refuses to talk about signing a prenuptial agreement, it is essential to address their concerns and fears. They may have misconceptions about prenups, such as assuming it means you do not trust them or that you are planning for the marriage to fail. It is crucial to reassure them that signing a prenup does not mean you love or trust them any less. On the contrary, you are taking practical steps to protect both of your interests.

    Before discussing a prenuptial agreement with your fiancé, it is essential to have a solid understanding of its pros and cons. Educate yourself on the advantages of a prenup, such as protecting individual assets, clarifying financial rights and responsibilities, and avoiding potential conflicts in the event of a divorce. Knowing the facts will help you present a compelling case when discussing the topic.

    There are several benefits to having a prenuptial agreement, especially in New York. A prenup can provide peace of mind and financial security, especially for individuals with significant assets, family businesses, or children from previous marriages. It can also establish clear guidelines for property division and debt allocation, ensuring a fair and equitable outcome if the marriage ends.

  3. Be Prepared to Address Fears and Concerns

    Despite the potential benefits of a prenuptial agreement, some individuals may refuse to sign one. This refusal can stem from various reasons, such as a lack of trust, fear of commitment, or a belief that it undermines the sanctity of marriage. It is important to approach the topic with understanding and address any concerns or reservations your partner may have. Explaining the purpose of a prenuptial agreement and how it can protect both parties can help alleviate any fears or misconceptions.

    It is not uncommon for the topic of prenuptial agreements to offend some people. The idea of planning for the potential end of a marriage can be seen as pessimistic or unromantic. Nevertheless, it is essential to remember that a prenuptial agreement is not solely focused on divorce but also serves as a tool to set expectations and protect the interests of both parties in the event of unforeseen circumstances.

    It is natural for your fiancé to have concerns or fears about signing a prenup. Take the time to listen to their worries and validate their feelings. Address each concern with empathy and reassure that the prenuptial agreement is not meant to diminish their importance or contribution to the relationship. Explain that a prenup can provide financial security, protect family assets, and prevent lengthy disputes in the future. Let them know that it is a proactive step to protect both parties and that their well-being is a priority.

  4. Compromise and Flexibility

    Negotiation is an essential part of creating a prenuptial agreement. Be willing to compromise and show flexibility when discussing the terms. Make it clear that the agreement is open to revision as circumstances change over time, ensuring that both parties' needs and desires are acknowledged. This will help alleviate concerns and demonstrate your commitment to fairness and the relationship's long-term success.

  5. Get Professional Advice

    Consider seeking professional mediation if your fiancé remains hesitant, even after open and honest discussions. A neutral third party can help generate a productive conversation and guide both parties toward a mutual agreement. Mediation can help address concerns, find common ground, and reach a satisfactory compromise that satisfies both partners.

    Consider involving a family law attorney when discussing a prenuptial agreement with your fiancé. An experienced attorney can explain the legal aspects, answer questions, and alleviate any fears or misconceptions your fiancé may have. This can give your fiancé a level of comfort and make the process seem less daunting.

In sum, approaching the subject of a prenuptial agreement with your fiancé requires sensitivity, understanding, and effective communication. Choosing the right time and place, doing thorough research, framing the conversation positively, addressing concerns, seeking professional advice, and being open to compromise can increase the chances of convincing your fiancé to sign a prenup. Remember, the goal is to protect both parties' interests and ensure a secure and harmonious future together.


Karen Rosenthal

Karen B. Rosenthal is a partner and co-founder at matrimonial litigation firm Bikel Rosenthal & Schanfield LLP, where she brings 35 years of matrimonial law experience to bear in matters involving high-net-worth equitable distribution, contentious custody battles, and other high-stakes disputes. Certified as an Attorney for the Child and a frequent speaker on topics related to children going through high-conflict divorce, she has been recognized as a leading New York lawyer by Super Lawyers, Best Lawyers, Crain's New York Business magazine, and New York magazine.

To connect with Karen: 212.682.6222 | [hidden email] | Online

For media inquiries or speaking engagements: [hidden email]