Whether you have filed for divorce or are the recipient of the filing, there are a host of questions you likely have, perhaps anxiety over what the process entails, and often a profound sense of loss.
Even when there is animosity between the divorcing spouses, there may not be feelings of loss for the individual, but for the lifestyle / routines / familiarity of the domestic status quo.
In our New York City matrimonial law practice, our objectives are: maximizing and protecting our clients’ wealth and maintenance of their lifestyle, strategizing their case in a comprehensive way- including enlisting the collaboration of outside partners, such as forensic accountants, appraisers, investigators, financial advisors, etc. and facilitating the most peaceful path possible so they may thrive during the process, as well as after the divorce decree is signed by the judge.
New York has no hard and fast formula to project the length of a divorce.
The process is, generally, determined by two factors: how back-logged is the court, and how quickly does your spouse furnish the necessary documents (ie., financial affidavits, living expense budget, proof of lifestyle). Since both of these factors are out of your hands, maintaining focus on that which you CAN control is healthy and productive.
Get out of the house!
Physical activity is beneficial not only to your body, but mental health, as well. Sign up for a class at Equinox, enjoy a runner’s high after a session at Mile High Run Club, or hoof it through Central Park.
Added bonus: you never know what new friends you may make while you’re basking in endorphins and dopamine.
People with consistently positive outlooks are not blessed with lives devoid of stress and challenge; positive people make the conscious decision to be positive, even in the face of stress and challenge. Such a choice is not always easy, and some days it will be more of a battle than others.
On these days, think of a few aspects of your life that make you happy: your kids, career, two fingers of the Glenlivet 25 year…there are always many, simply practice the act of identifying them.
Spend time with your children, friends, and family.
There is catharsis in spending time with the people who you love, who love you back, who know you well, and are invested in your happiness and well-being. Surrounding yourself with such people is also a great way to get out of your own head and out of your own way.
Be present and participate in their lives.
Consistency is key, like in so many aspects of life. Repetition breeds habit, which is how you are going to not only survive your divorce, but thrive. In keeping with the theme of positivity, it is important to note that neither revenge nor vengeance should ever be a tactic in your divorce strategy; however, living your best life during and post-divorce certainly sends a strong message to your ex.
Manhattan-based matrimonial trial lawyer and legal author Dror Bikel founded and leads Bikel & Schanfield, New York’s leading divorce and custody trial firm. To connect with Dror: [hidden email]